The Passing of Two Men of Integrity

Wednesday February 7, 2007

A Priest of Integrity

Msgr. Dennis Hayes was definitely of the old school. He grew up in a world and a church that were clearly defined. No guess work for Dennis the man and Dennis the priest/pastor.

Msgr. Hayes died yesterday at the age of 95 at St. Joseph Home in Totowa where the Little Sisters of the Poor care for their residents as if they were members of their own family. Indeed, they are!

I first met ‘Father’ Hayes when I was a freshman at Bayley Ellard Diocesan High School in Madison. At that time, Father Hayes was pastor of St. Cecilia Parish in Rockaway, Diocesan Superintendent of Schools and Director of the new diocesan high school (Bayley Ellard was the new name given to ‘old’ Bayley High School, the parish high school located in Assumption Parish in Morristown. The Hawe sisters, parishioners of Assumption, had left a bequest to Assumption Parish for the expansion of Bayley with the stipulation that ‘Ellard’ be added to the name. Msgr. Ellard was the well-beloved pastor of Assumption known for circulating around the parish on his white horse during the thirties. The money was transferred to the Diocese with the stipulation that the school be opened with the new name. Property was purchased in Madison where the now defunct school prospered for almost sixty years.)

Dennis was a gentleman who struggled with the changes of Vatican II. He would chastise me ‘gently’ from time to time when I was a member of what he and his peers called the ‘CYO’ at the Chancery. Most members of the bishop’s administrative staff at that time were under 30!

One day Msgr. Hayes called to inquire about a canonical issue that involved his niece. I asked why he called me instead of the chancellor. He said, “Because I was looking for a liberal answer.” He said it was ‘tongue-in-cheek’ but I think he was serious.

Msgr. Hayes was a faithful for over sixty years. A man dedicated to his God and his Church.

St. Francis de Sales wrote, “a gentleman is one who never inflicts a wound.” Dennis was a rare gentleman indeed.

May he rest in peace.

Another Gentleman of Integrity

…also passed away last week, Deacon Alex Buckholtz. Formerly of Saint Michael Parish in Netcong, Alex has resided since his retirement five years ago, with his wife, Marie, and daughter, Sandy, of Eagle Bridge NY. Their son, Mark, lives nearby.

Alex was a member of the permanent diaconate council during the early years of the restoration of the permanent diaconate in the Diocese of Paterson. Alex was a member of the second group of candidates ordained to the diaconate by Bishop Casey in 1976. As the first director of the program in 1972, I quickly became aware of the need to invite candidates and their wives to assist the development of the diaconate formation process and in the governance of the diaconate ministry within the diocese.

Alex was the first ‘Vicar for Deacons,’ a position which he retained for several years over and above his ministry at St. Michael’s.

Alex was one of the kindest persons with whom I have ever been associated. He was a humble man of great simplicity who expended his energy and creativity where the need was the greatest. No need was too small or great for Alex and he never blew a horn before him.

He was the inventor of colorful Styrofoam signs used in food stores but he never bragged about his many talents.

His heart belonged first to his family but it was big enough to include one more at his ‘table’ of plenty. Alex treated everyone as a member of his family without regard to social status, political persuasion or religious affiliation. He was particular committed to the poor.

Since his retirement and move to New York State, Alex was challenged with multiple heath problems and in recent months has lost the power of speech and was severely limited physically but consistent with his always patient temperament, Alex never asked why him.

He was deeply respected and loved by family and friends. He was truly a ‘saintly’ man whose good works will endure in the memory of all who loved him.

Alex is now with the angels.

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