Leaky Faucets

Monday January 17, 2005

Life is full of leaky faucets.

Shortly after my father moved into the apartment that I occupied after his death, I noticed that the faucet in the lavatory sink was dripping. I don’t like leaky faucets. I don’t know exactly why but then I don’t know anyone who likes a leaky faucet. However, I may be just a little more phobic about leaky faucets. For example, the sound of the cadenced drip wakes me up in the middle of the night. Of course, in the middle of the night, the drip is imaginary.

In as much as I am an environmental advocate of sorts, I have rationalized that over a period of twenty-four hours, we could be wasting a lot of water. It make take a lot of drips but during a water shortage, every drip – of water, that is – counts.

At any rate, I suggested to my dad that he inform the superintendent about the leaky faucets so that he could tighten the fixtures or replace the washers or whatever.

If you have ever been into apartment living, you know that it takes more than one call to get the attention of the manager and to be honest, what is one drip request among the waterfall of requests that he must receive every day?

Well, two years later, I moved into and yes, the faucet was still dripping. Okay, I’ll give the new ‘sup’ a call – the first several requests surely had long since expired.

No dice.

So I thought to myself, I have the skill it takes to replace a washer. After all I changed one many years ago in a rectory. It wasn’t that complicated then and couldn’t be any more complicated now.

I was wise enough to give myself more than a half hour to do what I assumed would take only a few minutes. No big deal.

Yeah, right.

Lights on; tools in place; everything is a go.

The first challenge was to shut the feed vales beneath the sink. No, they would not budge. This was my first clue that the sup never tackled the job. Wrench in hand but careful not to jerk the valve lest it crack, I gently applied pressure. I have now used up ten minutes of the thirty I allowed for the entire job. Okay, add another twenty. Got a meeting within an hour. I know, don’t tell me; I should have given this job at least an hour, perhaps more.

Finally, after several attempts and a few aspirations, the valve turned and I was able to shut both water feeds to the sink.

I unscrewed the knob screws and removed the faucet handles. The wrench for the cylinders was not quite as helpful as one that a professional plumber might employ but it did the trick.

Incidentally, always be sure that you take note of the internal faucet assembly when you remove it because you need put it back in the same sequence as you removed it. You also need to be mindful that although the internal assembly looks the same for the hot and cold water, they are different. At this point, you are already anticipating why this information is very important. If not, you will understand later as this story unfolds.

Oh, did I mention that I am a fan of the shows, “This Old House” and “Ask This Old House” on PBS? Well, I really love to watch these back-to-back videocasts’ on Saturday evening on Channel 13. I’ve really learned a lot and now feel I can do almost any repair they have demonstrated over time. They really make it look so easy, After all, life is not really that complicated when you have the ‘know how’ and have the tools to get the job done.

Now back to the lavatory with the clock running and only fifteen minutes to deadline.

The cold-water assembly came out just fine. The hot-water cylinder refused to disengage. Okay, I learned from the cold-water side that I was able to remove the washers without removing the cylinder.

Off to the local hardware store to replace the two faulty washers.

“Sorry sir, I don’t have washers the exact size but these will do. You shouldn’t have any difficulty.” Between you and me, always beware of replacements that are close but not equal to the original.

With confidence in the man who knew everything there was to know about leaky faucets, I headed back to the lavatory and hastened to replace the washers. It only took a few minutes to replace both assemblies and turn the water back on.

Drip, drip, drip, drip. I counted them – every 40 seconds; then twenty and then ten and then I said ‘ugh’ or something like that.

I decided the replacement washers were close but no cigar. So I headed out to my favorite hardware store in Mendham. A good friend of mine works there. I brought both faucet assemblies to him except the hot-water cylinder. He noticed a crack in the cold water cylinder.

He noticed a crack in the cylendar and suggested I leave the assemblies with him so that he could see if the crack cold be shaved and filled. He also gave me alternate washers, which he felt would work, but he was prudent enough to suggest that if they didn’t work, I should call the plumber. I forgot to tell him not to mix the assemblies so I would know which was which.

Back to the lavatory after my meeting, I was not in the mood to complete the task but being a bit of an obsessive compulsive, I decided to replace the faucet assembly. You guessed it. I got them mixed up and when I turned the water on beneath the sink, I could not turn the water off at the faucets. Now, I’m getting annoyed at myself and ready to put a sign on the apartment door, “Enter at your own risk!”

I removed the faucet assemblies again—the fourth time? but I forgot to turn one of the valves off beneath the sink. You know what happens when you remove a faucet without turning the feeder valve off? Are you with me?

At this point I think I was approaching the two-hour mark not counting the interruption for a meeting. Did I tell you that the original estimate was ten minutes? I was wrong. I adjusted the estimated time of completion to day two. After all, who’s counting and what’s one more day? I can brush my teeth in the kitchen sick when no one is looking. I live alone. It is on these occasions that I appreciate being a bachelor.

Okay, water is off for the night. Those of you who are more knowledgeable about plumbing already know why it is not a good idea to leave the water off all night when you have old plumbing.

Day II. I reinstalled the original worn washers. After all, the drip was really not that bad after all. This only took a few minutes. However, I really don’t like leaky faucets so I went a local plumbing supply for advise, I took the faucet assemblies with me. He showed me the crack and said it will drip forever! I replied, give me replacements for both faucets. He kindly did so and reminded me to keep the cold and hot separate. Yes, I said. I now understand why. I decided to postpone this final phase of the repair until Day three.

Over night, I had become an expert at disassembling and replacing faucets. I turned both feeders back on and then the faucets. No water pressure. In fact no water, just a slight drip!

I thought about calling the superintendent but realized that he is going to ask me why I didn’t call him sooner. You know why but don’t tell him.

We are approaching day four! At approximately 2:00 AM, it dawned on me that the spigot was probably clogged with calcium and other sediment. That’s what happens when the water is turned off for several hours. The plumber later confirmed this.

Okay, I can remove the air filter. That’s easy. Please note for future reference that the air filter is removed by turning it clockwise or counter clockwise. I can’t remember but it’s just the opposite to what you might assume. I only found this out after several exasperating attempts to remove it and practically grinding the poor little nozzle into powder.

Are you still with me? I’m not done yet!

The expert at the plumbing supply also confirmed that nozzle comes off easily when turned in the correct direction. Thank you. At this point, he is offering me a drink! Just kidding.

I mentioned that the cost of this repair to date was $35.00. He said, ”That’s cheap. Calling the plumber in will cost you another $100. Okay, I’m ahead of the game. I reckon his time is more valuable than mine.

Back to the laboratory, er, I mean, lavatory. Off comes the nozzle on goes the replacement. Oh, did I mention that both faucets are now very tight, almost impossible to turn them with my bare hands! “This is strange,” I thought to myself. Perhaps it’s because I have removed and replaced them so often over the past five days. Yes, we’re on day five. Sorry.

Off come both faucet assemblies and then on again. Three more times. Still too tight. Must I now use a wrench to turn the faucets on and off for the rest of my life?

At 2:00 AM the next morning (you can tell that this is when I do my problem solving) I realized that I may not have returned the faucet assemblies in the exact sequence, i.e., washer, cylinder, rubber washer, large nut and then metal washer. Done!

Yes, after one week, both faucets are no longer dripping and the flow of water is wonderful. However, the handle for the hot water faucet in the shower seems to be slipping. Do you think I should call he plumber for this one?

This brings me back to “This Old House.” I mentioned my interest in this program to the plumber. He said that lots of guys like that show and become expersts overnight. Then when the flood occurs at 2:00 AM, their wives tell them to call the plumber—at 2:00 AM!

At any rate, you may be wondering what the point was/is for this long diatribe. There are several learnings:

1.The importance, indeed, the necessity of preplanning. Never start off with a plan. Rather, plan for the plan. Remember Murphy’s law? “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong.” But don’t forget O’Toole’s law, “Murphy was an optimist!”

2.Read the directions. Don’t jump off the diving board without knowing the depth of the water below. That’s common sense but….

3. Pray every day.

4.Pay attention to the details. “The devil is in the details” but there are always angels “in the wings.”

5.Don’t give up. Perseverance pays off – in the long run.

6.Check with the experts but do not assume the “experts” know everything. Life is tentative—trial and error. Experience is the greatest teacher. Don’t blame everything on someone else. And don’t forget your prayers!

7.Know when enough is enough. “Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” Go to bed; get your rest; the leaky faucet will be there tomorrow.

8.Life is full of leaky faucets. Problems seem worse at 2:00 AM but that’s often when insight leads to solutions. Keep a pad on the night table. Don’t forget to pray.

9.Most of all, be patient with yourself and with everyone else. A sense of humor goes a long way.

10. Things are never as bad as some people say; never as good either, for that matter.

11. When all else fails, call the plumber and say a little prayer but don’t ask for what you want but for what you need.

12. Life is full of leaky faucets.

Recent Articles

Sixth Sunday of Easter 'C'

In all things, charity It continues to astound me how the Scriptures come to life over and over again under different…continue reading...

Sixth Sunday of Easter 'C'

In all things, charity It continues to astound me how the Scriptures come to life over and over again under different…continue reading...

Fifth Sunday of Easter 'B'

Let’s stay connected. It’s not unusual to hear family members or close friends at the departure gates of life say to…continue reading...

Fourth Sunday of Easter 'B'

Watch out for the leopards! When my sister and I were kids, my father would whistle for us when it was…continue reading...

Third Sunday of Easter 'B'

Suddenly our eyes were opened… in the Breaking of the Bread. It’s interesting how some life incidents and experiences can be…continue reading...