The gift that keeps giving

Saturday May 24, 2008

It may seem trite but it remains true that the family table is where stories are kept alive. Indeed it is where they receive energy and a new impetus to be passed on to the next generation. Whether it’s as formal as a wedding banquet—despite the competition from the band—or as simple as a meal in the breakfast nook, the stories shared by family are precious because they bring back memories of times and events long past. They enable us to make important connections with significant others whose qualities endure beyond their own time, extending into the lives of their descendents.

Oh yes, the stories have been embellished in their telling and the details differ, depending on the narrator, but their quality contains a message which sustains the listener and strengthens the family bond. Even stories of disloyalty or breech of faith can have a positive impact when the accent is on survival rather than failure.

Several years ago, I had the honor of presiding at the wedding ceremony of a close friend and colleague of many years. As the family stories were told, I was astounded at the connections my family had to his family and to our extended families. I have since come to the conclusion that everyone comes from Brooklyn, Jersey City or ‘Hells Kitchen’ in New York City! We were speaking about persons and personalities as if they were our long lost cousins. We’re all related! And as someone has remarked, “there are no accidents.”

Speaking of weddings, it is common for the bridal couple and their families, to provide favors as keepsakes of the wedding. You and I surely have a collection of such in our memory drawer or closet. CDs are in now and as well as website albums. They help to keep the feast alive.

My niece and nephews threw a surprise fiftieth wedding anniversary gathering for my sister and brother-in-law two weeks ago. They were totally surprised. Three branches of our family were represented and we learned so much about our heritage and the glue that has kept us together though our paths cross so infrequently.

This is why we come to this table at least weekly—to keep THE story alive. The story of Jesus and the memory of what he accomplished in his short life or rather, what God accomplished through the humanity of Jesus. Depending on the storyteller (evangelist), Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, the details differ in their telling, but the core of the message remains the same. Not only does the story inspire, it motivates us to pass the story on, as it were, by writing our own version, which in essence is nothing more or less than living the ancient story in our own time and space.

I have just finished reading “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch [with Jeffreay Zaslow, Hyperion Prress, New York, 2008]—a tender story of his final days and what he wanted to leave to his wife and children. In essence, it’s all about achieving his childhood dreams and the commission for his family to aim for the same. His wisdom is pithy and poignant, guaranteed to enchant and energize the lives of many who never met him personally. It’s a must-read for every father and mother, mentor and teacher. It is truly a gift that keeps giving.

Here are some of the chapter headings:

Dream Big
Ernest is better than hip
Raising the White Flag
Let’s Make a Deal
Don’t Complain, Just Work Harder
Treat the Disease, Not the Symptoms
Don’t Obsess Over What People Think
Start by Sitting Together
Look for the Best in Everybody

Watch What They Do, Not What They Say
The Lost Art of Thank-You Notes
Loyalty is a Two-Way Street
Show Gratitude

Send Out Thin Mints
All You Have Is What You Bring With You
A Bad Apology is Worse Than No Apology
Tell the Truth

Get in Touch with Your Crayon Box
No Job Is Beneath You
Know Where You Are
Never Give Up

Be A Communitarian
All You Have to Do Is Ask
The Input of Others
Dreams Will Come to You.

And when we narrate the story of Jesus death and proclaim his resurrection in the great Eucharistic narrative and come to the table to eat the holy bread and drink the sacred cup, and to remember all that he said and did, we not only do we dwell on the ‘Last Lecture of Jesus’ but we are transformed into the very Body of Christ. It is that to which St Paul is testifying in his letter to the Corinthians.

I like to say it this way: Jesus gave birth to God in humanity. We do the same whenever we may love and compassion the driving force behind our every word and deed. It’s a tall order but it’s the only way to keep the story alive. It’s the essence of who we are and the heart of who we are called to be.

Several years ago I came upon a commentary on the Eucharist describing it as a Sacrament of Healing. Actually, it was the first Sacrament of Reconciliation that existed even prior to what evolved as a separate Sacrament of Reconciliation. Originally, Lent was instituted as a preparation for celebration of the Sacraments of Initiation—Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Eucharist. Later Lent became a period of purification for those who had drifted from the ‘table’ as it were through sins that alienated them from the community of faith. They were welcomed back to the table on Holy Thursday.

The penitential rite at the introduction of the Liturgy in both the Easter and Western liturgies is a remnant of that ancient restoration to grace for the penitent.

The Eucharist is not a reward for saints but food for sinners. It is a sacrament of healing for those who have been estranged. It is a welcome home for those who are disposed to take to heart the words of Jesus, “Let this sin not be held against them,” and “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

In the story of Zachaeus, Jesus invites himself to supper. He makes no demands on Zachaeus other than that he welcome him. The end result is that not only was Zachaeus restored, but also his whole family.

The Eucharistic prayer concludes at the end of this liturgy but the Eucharistic action does not cease. Just as the remains of the consecrated bread are retained for distribution at a later time to the sick, they are also retained for our adoration, prayer and meditation, reminding us that we too have become the bread blessed and broken for others.

If ever there was the need for healing the physical and spiritual wounds of time, the need has never been greater than now. Whatever the illness, whatever the wound, wherever the hurt—in mind, heart or soul—it is at this table that you and I find our strength.

Eucharist is the admission of our vulnerability but also the confession of our hope in the saving power of Jesus, the new manna, the bread of life, in whom we live and move and have our being, who sustains us that we may sustain others unto everlasting life.


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