Feast of the Holy Trinity 'B'

Sunday June 7, 2009

A Mystery To Be Lived

It is not unusual for a spiritual director to engage “disciples” in an extended conversation about God during the first few sessions. The purpose is to assess ‘sojourners’ spiritual experience and their understanding of God, i.e., who is your God? This tends to be a ‘heady’ exchange and often leads to textbook definitions of God that often collide with our experience of the divine. Definitions tend to do that and they are very hard to challenge and change even when our experience suggests otherwise.

Ultimately, God defies definition.

Sooner or later, I get to the second question. “Who are you for God?” Of the two questions, this is the more penetrating and compelling. It leads to where the rubber hits the road, as it were.

Many years ago a middle-aged woman, a convert to Catholicism, came to me for spiritual direction. Incidentally, spiritual direction is not actually direction. On the contrary, the spiritual director engages the ‘disciple’ in a dialogue that enables him or her to recognize God’s interventions in the ordinary experiences of life.

At any rate, after the usual amenities and the exploration of her expectations for spiritual direction, I introduced the two questions.

When I posed the second, she paused in somber silence and then began to sob. She continued for what seemed like an hour and then responded: “I don’t know who I am for God.”

How tragic, I thought. Who wrote this script for her? A parent? A pastor or preacher or her teacher? A playmate or peer at school?

She was everything to God but no one ever told her.

All of us are everything to God.

In subsequent sessions, we revisited her childhood, then her adolescent and early adult experiences of God. As we unpacked her stories, she gained some insight into her past and discovered many gifted moments. She eventually came to the realization that indeed God had been a positive force in her life. Unfortunately, she had no mentors to help her recognize how important she was to God. Her self-esteem was buried in the guilt of never measuring up to the demands of others and even of her own self-imposed expectations far in excess of what God ever asked of her. Through no fault of hers, she failed to appreciate the importance of affirmation or the notion of positive reinforcement in the life of a child and adolescent and even an adult.

The Scriptures on this feast of the Holy Trinity have been selected to help us to unpack the story of God’s marvelous interventions into human history through the experiences of our Jewish ancestors and of our Christian elders—all God’s children who have gone before us in faith.

In the Book of Deuteronomy, Moses in somewhat grandiose language describes the dramatic interventions of God into the lives of the Israelites in their escape from the cruelties of pharaoh and the ravages of slavery.

In more intimate language St. Paul alerts his readers to the relationship that we all enjoy with God in Christ. It is Christ who makes it possible for us know who God is and to appreciate the lengths to which God will go to demonstrate an indiscriminate love for humanity.

Wisdom resides in the depth of God’s mind and heart but is evident in our partnership with God and is often experienced on city streets in the compassion of one human being for another. Jesus is God’s wisdom in human form and God’s spirit is the animating force that binds us to God and bonds us to one another. The life of the Christian is rooted in the love of God for all humanity. (There are still some who believe that God loves only devout Jews and Christians.)

Although preachers may feel compelled on this feast to attempt an explanation of the doctrine of the Trinity, we would do better to write poetry and tell stories that enable believers to ponder God’s creative presence in the universe—can you not smell God even in the musty air early this morning? Or in the clouds that gathered yesterday to pose for picture postcards? The reality of God’s life breathes within us and God’s heart pulsates in the hearts of all people who strive to live in peace with God whatever name they use: God, Allah, Adonai, Elohim or whatever?

The Trinity is not a doctrine to be explained but a mystery to be lived.

Matthew’s Gospel presents Jesus as the ‘new Moses’ placing him at significant moments on a mountain, reminiscent of Sinai. Jesus establishes the Beatitudes as the constitutional document of his followers on the mountain of Beatitudes. Jesus is transfigured on the mount, reassuring his apostles that indeed Moses and Elijah are at his side. And in today’s passage, Jesus is once again on the mountain sending his disciples forth to do for others what he did for them.

Nevertheless, disciples experienced fear and doubt in the very presence of the Christ. They did not fully understand the message of Jesus but God did not wait for perfect understanding. As they were plunged into the life of God in Christ through a baptism of fire and infused by the gifts of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, they were sent to do the same for others and so are we.

I cannot view God as punitive or as a king seated on a royal throne in the heavens above the clouds. God and I are partners right here on this earth. I smell God’s breath in the air. I felt God’s presence in the downpour yesterday just as I experience God’s presence in the cold of winter as well in the beauty of fall and in the sweet sultry smell of summer. I sense God’s presence in the mess of life because God is life and God’s way is anything and everything that sustains life. We are partners—God and me. God doesn’t do life for me but I can never do life without God. When I fail or falter, God is there to pick me up. When I complain, God is there to challenge me. When I cry, I also see a tear in God’s eye.

I always find God at the Barnegat Light at the end of the jetty. God likes to go there just to dream and to pray and I listen in on the conversation that God has with the evolving universe. It’s always positive and insightful. God wants the best for everyone.

Several years ago, I found this little bit of wisdom in a commentary and saved it for future reference:

Doubt sees the obstacles; faith sees the way.
Doubt sees the darkest night; faith sees the day,
Doubt dreads to take a step; faith soars on high.
Doubt questions, “Who believes?”
Faith answers.

[Sunday Commentaries, Pat Sanchez, NCR Publications, Kansas City, Mo 2003]

Who are you for God?

Everything!


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