Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time 'A'

Saturday June 18, 2005

Stop Bullying!

On Bullying

Is there a ‘bully’ in your life?

Have you ever been hunted or haunted by a bully?

Seventh grade can be the most challenging year for the shortest boy in the class, particularly if he is not the most coordinated or skilled in sports. Such a kid is the prime target for bullies and in seventh grade everyone except the target is a bully!

Bullying has become a serious problem not only in play area of inner city schools but also in the more sophisticated playgrounds of suburban schools. We’ve have all read about some pretty tragic retaliatory responses from kids who have felt trapped by bullies. Bullying tends to trigger an eye-for-eye, tooth-for-tooth or worse response from the bullied child who feels cornered and defenseless.

But as serious as bullying may be in the schoolyard, it is by no means the most prevalent form of bullying.

It happens in the adult world all the time:

On the road, it’s called ‘road rage.’

At the traffic light, it’s called, clear the intersection, I’m king of the road and I’m more important than you!

At a wedding, it’s played so loud by the D.J. or the band that it is difficult if not impossible to hear oneself think much less carry on a conversation even at the level of screaming.

It happens in the stands and on the sidelines during little league games and at other highly charged sports events.

It happens in classrooms, at board meetings, in the State Assembly and in the US Senate.

Terrorism is a form of bullying but preemptory strikes are not exempt from accusation or indictment.

It happens even in pulpits – thus the name, bully pulpit—and even from the mouths of high Church officials in the form of excessive edicts and mandates.

Pastors have also been known to bully.

And all too sadly, it happens in homes and its victims are battered wives, battered, children and yes, even battered husbands.

Bullying stems from a deep insecurity in the mind and heart of the bully. Of course, bullying tends to beget bullying and so it is not unlikely that the bully was bullied long before he or she exercised the ‘skill’ on someone else.

But of all the bullying that goes on in life, the most difficult to deal with is the more subtle form. It’s the act of belittling or humiliating another person through mockery or making fun at another’s expense. There is a fine line between satire and sarcasm.

Bullying more about the bully than about the victim. Bullies think they know it all but underneath are generally insecure and not confident in their ability to engage another in intelligent dialogue or civil discourse. The volume of his or her voice rarely determines the strength of an individual. Screaming is usually a sign that we are out of control. The one exception, of course, is attempting to engage in civil conversation at a wedding or at a junior high dance.

Today’s scriptures deal with bullying.

Jeremiah was bullied and belittled by his contemporaries because he spoke the truth in God’s name. They were incensed at his prophecies, which in essence called them to reform their way of life in keeping with the covenant of the God who is rich in kindness and compassion.

Jesus was bulled by the crowds and ultimately bullied to death for speaking the truth with love. Many considered him a wimp but his strength lay not in retaliation or in a desire to strike back but in his willingness to be faithful to his Father’s will that all be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. And what is the truth but that God’s love is indiscriminate and his mercy without limit.

There was only one way to make this known and that was by his hardnosed compassion. In the words of Isaiah’s prophecy, “A bruised reed he will not break; a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.”

Like a lamb he was led to the slaughter and he did not even whimper or whisper a word against them. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”

As faithful followers of Christ and as members of his body, we are not called to be doormats for the world or for those who would overpower us. The Gospel does not always and everywhere demand passive resistance but challenges us to seek and find creative ways to deal with the aggressive behavior of others with a resistance rooted in the principles of our faith and the tradition of our Church. We take up arms be they words or weapons only as a last resort.

Following Mass this morning, one woman told me about her creative response to being bullied in kindergarten. She said, “I socked the kid and nipped it in the bud!” I’m sure she felt it was the last resort!

In a society in which we prepare our young to win at any cost, we need to be very attentive to the subtle messages we send from the sidelines of life.

In a litigious society in which it is more important to defeat the opponent than to seek justice, we need to be mindful that God does not stand with the aggressor.

“Jesus said to the twelve:
‘Fear no one.
And do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul;
rather be afraid of the one who can destroy both soul and body in Gehenna.
So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.’”

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