Still More for Advent

Thursday December 8, 2005

An Advent Prayer
[Written for an Advent past but a prayer that still has meanng]

Here I am again, Lord,
at the door of another year —of challenge and opportunity;—of grace and importunity.

It seems
I have been down this road before—more times than I can count.

I confess to you
that I have been less than content with,
and more than inept in
the fulfillment
of countless promises
-spoken and unspoken-
which I have made to you.

I suspect they were not so much for you
but for me.

Promises make me feel good
as if I have already given something of myself,
but in reality,
cotton candy promises that taste sweet on contact
but whose taste quickly vanishes;
instantly forgotten.

Somehow,
promises seem to take the pressure off
as if to appease an expectant taskmaster
or demanding parent.

“I promise…”

But I’m not always as good as my promises.

I think that perhaps
I need to rethink this whole notion
and substitute instead
an attentive ear to your promise
to me
and to humanity.

I think I may have assumed too much
as if by this time I knew your mind
and what you expect of me.
How silly.

Who can know your mind
or who can fathom your thoughts.

Perhaps this Advent
I will listen more carefully
and come to know that your expectations
are more realistic than mine.

Perhaps this Advent

I will also come to know
that your promise is more important
than mine
and in fact that it has been fulfilled
in the Christ
and continues to be fulfilled
each time that I say “yes, Lord,
I believe.
Help my unbelief.”

Advent is less about our promises
as it is about learning to breathe the air
that Jesus breathed;
to inhale the “Spirit”
that Jesus lived.

Only by listening
not so much with our ears
as with our hearts
can we hear what God is asking of us
this year.

I suspect we already know.

Father Lasch


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