Homily for the Funeral of Jillian Moor

Monday December 26, 2005

Not the Way It’s Supposed To Be!

I have said it more than once—death is never justified. It’s a tenet of faith. Not only is it unjust, it’s unfair, especially when it happens to people so young and life giving.

So God, we need to talk, one-on-one. Well, I need to talk and I need you to listen.

This is not the way it’s supposed to be. Jill and Lisa were just getting off the ground—just winding up, as it were, getting ready for college and careers that would have had a significant impact not only on their personal lives but on the lives so many other people – many of whom are yet to be born.

Did you know that Jill was accepted into the University of South Carolina into the school of pharmacology? Yes, she wanted to be a pharmacist. But you must have known that. Well, anyway, this was not just going to be a career to make her rich; it was going to be her life vocation. You know what that means. She really wanted to dedicate her life to wellness and healing.

I really think she would have made a great contribution to pharmacology not only through the application of proven medical treatment but also by her creativity, I really believe she had the scientific curiosity that may have led to some break-throughs in technical know-how. It all made so much sense to her and to everyone who knew her.

How do I know this?

Well, just look at what she accomplished in her short life. First of all, she was a real self-starter. I think this quality was in her genes – you know, she got it from her parents and grandparents. The word “impossible” was not in her vocabulary. She was pretty determined but I wouldn’t say “stubborn”, She really got totally involved in whatever she set out to do whether in academics, or sports or just plain having fun with such conviction, zest and enthusiasm.

By the way, you recall – I hope you do – that the word “enthusiasm” comes from two Greek words, ‘en’ and ‘theos’ which means to be ‘in God.’ Don’t you find that interesting? I hope you feel flattered. You should because this means that you were her source of energy and joy and even though she didn’t use a lot of religious words except of course for “O God!” I’ll tell you more about that later.

And here’s another quality that not only endeared her to so many of her peers but also an indicator that she was destined for great things. It was her incredible openness to other people. No, she wasn’t wishy-washy. She could be pretty assertive but she made room for everyone, even for freshmen! Now, how many seniors are that inclusive? She was immune from ‘senioritis.’

You may have to be a competitor on the field but you have to be a team player in the game of life as well as a competitor. Do you get the connection? I mean, her ability to balance her competitive spirit with the need to work cooperatively with others was very important to her as it is in professional circles, especially in the field of research and scientific study. More than this, Jill was a mediator and tried to keep her peers talking.

I assume you were in the family room at the Moors the other evening when her friends were sharing stories with her mom and dad about some of their experiences with Jill. I’m sure you must have chuckled at some her expressions like, “padittle” at traffic lights or her being “totally ready” for the next challenge and whenever she was really psyched about something how she would yell, “O my God!” She wasn’t really taking your name in vain. It was what we call, an “exclamatory prayer” of excitement. And could she enjoy a good laugh – laughing with people but never at them.

Okay, she did get carried away with the volume control on her car radio. I suppose she just wanted everyone on the block to know she was enjoying the music.

You know, God, Jill made everything she did look so easy. Many of us older folks wish we could have handled life that way when we were young. Most of us try to make things look difficult so that others will be impressed with how much effort we have put into our accomplishments.

But you know what really convinced me about her profound commitment to life? It was her desire that whenever her own earthly life would come to an end, her organs be used to sustain life for someone else. Of course, you know by now that many of her organs have already been donated to make it possible for several other people for whom illness had become a major threat to their very lives. Do you need any further proof?

So, God, this is what has been on my mind and on the minds of a lot of folks over the past week or so. What do you think?

Ken, first of all, let me tell you that I knew all of what you told me, and more. I have known Jill for a long time – long before you and most of the folks in this room except of course her loving parents and family. I knew Jill even before she was born and everything you said was true. I put all those beautiful qualities in her genes. What you saw in Jill is exactly what you got!

However, before I go any further, I have to clear up a few things. First of all, what happened to Lisa and Jill was not part of my plan. It happened without my permission. I hate it when people say, “Well, it’s God’s will or there’s a reason for it and some day we’ll understand.” I know people try to find a reason and struggle to find the right words to say in the face of such a tragedy but saying it’s my will is not very helpful to me or to anyone else.

But this is not the time and place to talk about how I created the universe and how human life evolved and how freedom plays a part. Quite frankly, I’m not too impressed with the creationist folks and some of those intelligent design folks who are trying to read my mind, but as I just said, this is not the time to get into that heavy stuff. Just understand that when people laugh, I laugh and when people cry, I cry.

I was devastated by that accident and you’re absolutely correct, it should not have happened and you want to know something else? I did not want my own son to die. A lot of folks think I did but they read the Bible wrong – I didn’t send my Son to die but to live.

I want you to know that Jill and Lisa are safe and happy and complete. Although I was not expecting them so soon, I welcomed them with open arms.

Do you want to know what I told them when they arrived? Of course you do.

This is what I said to Jill:

“Jill, I am so sorry about what happened. This is not the way it’s supposed to be. You were just getting started in life. How terrible that your earthly life was snuffed out, without warning. You had so many dreams that will not come true on earth and so many friends that you had to leave behind but none more important that your loving family who you know thought you were the greatest.

It became pretty clear to those who were caring for you that your body simply could not recoup or recover from that terrible accident which, given the icy patches on the road, could not have been prevented. Sometimes the laws of nature are even too much for me.

I was touched deeply by the decision of your mom and dad to honor your desire to allow your organs to be donated to other folks clinging to life so that they may have a second chance to fulfill their dreams.

Jill, in so many ways the world has made progress but there’s so much more for us to accomplish. You probably were not aware of it at the time but when you were born, I invited you to become a partner with me in my effort to make the world a better place for all. Some folks – even Catholics – thing this notion of my partnering with human beings borders on heresy. I even sent my Son to show people how we could be faithful partners. Christmas is not just about a baby in a manager. It’s about a celebration about what can happen with God and human beings work together.

Anyhow, you and I and Lisa too, will be dong a lot of talking over the next few days and months and years. I liked the way you and Lisa partnered together. Each of you had very different personalities but you worked together so nicely. You were very complementary to each other. You were great examples to your peers.

We have to talk about your dreams and we have to find ways to reduce risks to life and cures for all kinds of illnesses and ways to get people to talk and listen to one another so that together they can find solutions to what seem insurmountable problems.

Your family and friends will miss you and there will always be an empty place at their table and a hole in their hearts. My heart aches for them. You and Lisa have no clones on earth. Both of you were and are unique. There are no replacements for you.

We will find ways for you to keep in touch with them. Photos, music, cheers and smiles. Not to worry—your friends will keep your stories alive and in less than a hundred years you will all be together again and remember, there is no time in eternity because we live in the eternal now.

Eternal rest give to them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in peace. Amen.

Father Lasch

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